Last Monday, I installed Google Analytics on my website in order to better view my traffic stats. On the Google Analytics dashboard there is a place where users can view which countries readers are from, the languages they speak, so on and so forth. And in the midst of my browsing, I saw a number. Number 175! 175 individual people have visited my blog! Maybe this number isn’t big to some of my viewers, but it means a lot to me. A few short months ago I wasn’t even considering writing. Now look at me. Self-published with readers in Toronto, Portland, Sydney, Maryville and many more. Small towns, big cities, strangers and friends. I feel so loved.
However, I realized most of those complete strangers don’t even know who I am. Writing is such an intimate adventure, and I refuse to be in intimate with people who don’t even know my favorite colors or my upbringing or how I like my coffee. So here is my unofficial about me post.
I was raised in a traditional, Christian home with 2 happily married parents and 2 sisters. My sisters are Lauren and Emily. Lauren was the sister I always looked up to. I was insanely jealous of her physique and personality as a younger girl, and that jealousy eventually turned into extremely low self-love and a general caution around her. It’s hard to be yourself around someone you idolize and view as utter perfection. I realize now that she has her own difficulties and that she isn’t perfect, but that caution is still there. Emily is young, beautiful and completely innocent. She is a freshman in high school with the face of a snow angel. She was my favorite sister growing up; I remember constantly playing with her and showing her the “ways” of the world.
My parents appeared to be perfect for each other during my childhood. Although we didn’t have a lot of money growing up, that never stopped them. We went on typical family vacations to Disney World and were raised in the church. They were loving, but they were also belittling and in a way, controlling. My mom and I both agree that it was a hard home to grow up in. My parents are both extremely strict and didn’t really tolerate people who were different.
As I grew older though, I’ve come to learn that although my parents want me and my sisters to share in the same beliefs and morals that they so highly uphold, I’m different. I have grown apart from then in distance, political opinions, morals and beliefs. The fact that I’m agnostic and dating someone of a different race are only small testimonies to how changed I am compared to the rest of my family. It has been a hard and sad journey, realizing who I am without adopting my parents ideas, but I’m glad I am who I am. More on that journey later.
Color: Black. And no, not just because its the color of my boyfriends skin. I love black because it is a combination of all the other colors, it is a shadow and a welcoming place to those of us who appreciate being covered, and it’s a perfect staple color in my wardrobe.
Foods: I love to bake, prefer iced beverages over hot, and am the brownie queen. I like my coffee with 2 creamers along with half the sugar bag, and will never turn down a dinner date.
Season: Fall and Christmas. Fall for the colors and wardrobe changes, and Christmas because, hello, Christmas. Yes I realize Christmas is a holiday, but for me it’s an entire season. December 1st comes along and my entire apartment will be wrapped in lush green garlands and twinkling lights. Christmas makes me happy; I love giving to others and the ambiance of everyone gathered around a tree, eating breakfast in fluffy pajamas and enjoying the comforts of family and friends.
I’m currently working full-time and am considering a career in writing or being self-employed through freelancing and blogging. I own a Papillon named Hermione. I plan on moving to Seattle, WA next summer to continue my education at the University of Washington. I’m working on improving my relationship with my mom and currently reading the newspaper.
This is my most personal post yet, but I hope it gives you better insight to who I am.